Thank God, Joe Biden Is Running

May 3rd, 2019 | Spartacus

Donald Trump's chances just improved. Creepy Joe Biden, the guy who likes to nuzzle women and whisper sweet nothings into their ears, is running for president. Salon recently pointed out how Biden launched his campaign by referring to Trump's comments about the Charlottesville riots, highlighting Trump's alleged sympathy for “white supremacists”. Strangely, though, Biden didn't mention anything about Trump's comments about grabbing women by their pussies. Maybe that whole ship has sailed and Biden didn't think it would be effective, or—maybe Joe Biden knows he isn't in any position to comment on sexual misconduct. Either way, if Biden wins the Democratic nomination, any attacks on Trump's history of being a creep will lose their merit.

If Biden wins, we get to spend all of 2020 watching Democrats shrug off acts of sexual impropriety and inappropriate behaviour. Stroking a ten-year-old girl's hair and whispering in her ear? No big deal, that's just uncle Joe being uncle Joe. How about Lucy Flores and Amy Lappos? They're just a couple of women trying to sink a presidential candidate, don't mind them. If you thought 2016 was a gong show of backflips and twister, just wait for 2020. It'll be like the attempted lynching of Brett Kavanaugh never even happened.

Before I go into Joe Biden's dubious history, I'd like to point out that the same standards should apply to all political candidates. If you think Brett Kavanaugh and Donald Trump should be innocent until proven guilty, you should give Joe Biden the same treatment. If you think all women should be believed without any real, substantial evidence—then please apply the same standards to Joe Biden and his accusers.


Subconscious Racism

When Barack Obama ran for president in 2008, Joe Biden, his eventual running mate, called him the first mainstream African-American who was “articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy”. In 2006, Biden said, “In Delaware, the largest growth of population is Indian Americans moving from India. You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking.”

Yes, Joe Biden might just be as racist as Democrats think Donald Trump is.

When Joe Biden says racist things, Democrats find it cute. It'll be hard for Democrats to fight Trump on his alleged love for white supremacists when their own nominee has a history of subconscious, racial gaffes. Good luck, Democrats... if Joe Biden actually becomes your choice.  

Weird, Sexual Behavior

Nevada politician, Lucy Flores, accused Joe Biden of kissing and touching her inappropriately during a Las Vegas rally in which Biden offered his help. Her reactions seem a slight bit exaggerated, as she accuses Biden of approaching her from behind, putting his hands on her shoulders and kissing her head. This incident, as Flores wrote in an op-ed, left her feeling powerless and violated.

Biden also allegedly sniffed Flores' hair, leaving her “mortified”.

A mildly more serious allegation comes from Alexandra Tara Reade, who claims Joe Biden would run his fingers up her neck when she worked in his Senate office during her 20s. Reade also claimed in the Union that she was assigned a job serving drinks at events because Joe really “liked her legs”.

Vail Kohnert-Yount was a White House intern during Biden's time in office in the Obama administration. She claims Joe Biden once grabbed her by the head and pressed his forehead into hers, calling her a very pretty girl and making her feel uncomfortable.


Under-age Girls

Joe Biden has a well documented and particularly unsettling habit of touching, kissing and handling young girls and children. Unfortunately, this is the most disturbing part of Biden's dubious history and the internet happens to be riddled with videos of Biden touching and caressing young children in bizarre and uncomfortable ways—ways so uncomfortable that even the children are made to squirm.

In the video below, you'll see girls as young a ten being caressed, fondled and made to feel uncomfortable by Joe Biden. In the first part of the video, a girl who appears to be no older than ten-years-old has her chin and cheek caressed by Joe Biden, before he leans down and says something to her that makes her pull away from him. Creepy Joe then continues to comb her hair with his fingers and kiss the top of her head.

At the 1:45 mark, another girl no older than 15 is visibly uncomfortable as Joe Biden whispers something in her ear. At 2:42, Biden puts his hand on another teenage girl's waist. This video montage of Joe Biden expressing his bizarre fascination with young girls is nothing short of unsettling.

The leftist Daily Beast has even taken notice and offence to Joe Biden's creepy touching habits, writing:


I’ll shake hands with pretty much anyone. I do not want my shoulders or any other part of my body touched by someone I’ve never met before, no matter how famous they are (unless they ask and it’s Chris Pine and he wants to give me a hug—but even he has to ask first).


McCain’s colleague Joy Behar described Biden as “a close talker,” which everyone agrees makes you the absolute worst person in a bar but somehow is an excuse if you’re a politician? Whoopi Goldberg said Biden might be “a little overly familiar” and “a hands-on kind of guy.”


Biden isn’t Harvey Weinstein, but those explanations are all too reminiscent of the way people like him were talked about just a couple years ago. He’s “just” a womanizer, relax. Also, “handsy” is the word Goldberg is looking for—“hands-on” would be if Biden invited constituents to come to work with him and participate in government.


If Joe Biden wins the Democratic nomination, we can only hope we don't uncover some darker, dirtier skeletons that have been hiding in his closet for the past thirty years. The worst part would be having to find out that he was able to get away with it for so long.