December 1st, 2023 | Nick Edward

Mind Your Own Business

It's simple, really.

“Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly your own concern, and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours.” - Epictetus

In the world as it is, conflict is ever-present, simmering just beneath the surface of even the most mundane activities. But what if we all learned to mind our own business? What if we let others go about their daily routines without interference, without judgment, and without trying to control the outcome? The world would probably be a better place if we all followed this simple rule.

The man on the street corner, usually eager to share his political views with anyone who will listen, stays silent, lost in thought. He ponders the state of his own life, the struggles he faces and the things he can do to improve his own circumstances. He looks up at the sky, and for a moment, he feels a sense of peace.

The driver on the highway, usually honking his horn and yelling at other drivers, takes a deep breath and relaxes. He focuses on his own driving, his own journey. He doesn't let the actions of others dictate his behaviour. He arrives at his destination feeling calm and centred.

The coworker who always seems to be in everyone's business, nosing around and gossiping, stays quiet today. She focuses on her own work, her own goals. She realizes that her nosiness is a reflection of her own insecurities, so she decides to work on building her self-confidence instead.

The politician who boils with anger over what is said about him on social media and immediately looks at censorship as a solution, then takes a moment to realize it doesn't matter and that punishing everyone isn't a reasonable solution. He sits back, takes a breath, ignores the noise, and decides to focus on offering solutions that would make life easier and better for everyone.

Consider the simple act of grocery shopping. So often, we get caught up in what others are buying, or how they're behaving in the store. We make assumptions about their lives, their families, and their financial situations based on how they dress and a few carts full of food. But what if we just minded our own business and focused on our own needs?

Or think about the office. How many times have you gotten involved in a coworker's problem, trying to offer advice or solutions when all they really needed was to be left alone? We interfere in the routines of others, trying to control the outcome of their problems, when what they really need is space to figure things out on their own. If we all just minded our own business, the office would be a much less stressful place.

And what about our personal lives? How often do we get caught up in the drama of others, trying to be a support system and to dig up and find as much information about others as we can, when what we really need to do is focus on our own lives and our own struggles? If we all just minded our own business, we would have more time and energy to devote to the things that truly matter to us.

We have become a society consumed by the desire to know everything about everyone, to the detriment of our own well-being and the well-being of those around us. The constant need to be connected, to hear the latest rumours, to have the latest news and updates, has led to a culture of nosiness and over-involvement. We're bombarded with information about our friends, family, neighbours, and even strangers, and we cannot help but feel the urge to comment, judge, and interfere. But this interference is not always welcomed and it can lead to conflict and strained relationships.

One of the most obvious examples of this is the way we treat our daily routines and activities. We are constantly interrupted by notifications, messages, and calls that demand our attention—even when we are simply trying to get work done or relax. We are no longer able to focus on our own tasks and we become easily distracted by the lives of others.

How about when we see what others have, then complain about the lack of fairness because we don't have the same things. What if we understood that fair is not always even, and even is not always fair. The very act of spying the fortunes of others and admonishing their success is the act of minding their business rather than our own. If we stopped and focused solely on our own goals and ambitions, wouldn't that eliminate most of our anxieties and feelings of inadequacy?

What if we were to take a step back and consciously choose to mind our own business? What if we were to recognize that our own well-being and happiness is not dependent on the actions or choices of others? What if we were to let go of our need to constantly compare ourselves to others and focus on our own journey?

Maybe, by minding our own business, we could avoid conflict and create a more peaceful and harmonious society. We could learn to respect each other's boundaries and allow each other the freedom to live our own lives. From that, our differences would be less known. The differences that would normally cause conflict could be more easily ignored. This would only work if we all followed this same rule.

This rule would apply to all spectrums of existence; from geopolitical conflicts to social policy. When exercised by the antagonists and protagonists alike, it would end most conflicts. 

In short, by minding our own business, we could create a world that is more focused on personal growth and fulfillment, rather than on the lives of others. We could learn to be more self-aware and introspective, and to cultivate a sense of inner peace and contentment. We can all start now by putting down our phones, ignoring unimportant calls, shutting down gossip and spending more time with our kids, spouses and families. These are the first and most important steps in learning to mind our own business.